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Curiosity2 min read · Curiosity · The Art of Being Interested
Ask for the Specific One
"How was the trip?" gets you "good." Ask for one moment instead, and the whole thing comes alive.
General questions get general answers. "How's work?" earns you "busy." "How was your weekend?" earns you "fine." Nobody's hiding anything — the question just gave them nowhere to go.
The fix isn't asking more. It's asking narrower. One moment, one detail, one specific thing instead of the whole blurry category.
Small doors open wider
When you ask about a single moment, you hand someone an easy place to start. "What was the best meal you had there?" beats "How was Italy?" every time, because it's answerable, and the answer usually pulls a bigger story in behind it.
The narrower the question, the wider the answer.
Shrink the question
GENERAL
How was the conference?
SPECIFIC
What's one thing you heard that you can't stop thinking about?
THE TAKEAWAY
Swap the broad category for one specific moment inside it.
You're not asking for more. You're asking for something they can actually reach.
PRACTICE THIS · CURIOSITY
- Ask one more question about the first answer — the real story is underneath.
- Echo a word they used and hand it back as a question.
- Swap "How are you?" for something smaller and more specific.
- Ask about the feeling, not just the facts.
- Pick the person you'd normally skip and ask them one real question today.
- Swap 'How was it?' for 'What's one moment that stuck with you?'
- When their voice speeds up, drop your next question and chase that.
SOURCES & FURTHER READING
- Elizabeth Stokoe. Talk: The Science of Conversation — Robinson (2018; conversation-analysis research on how question wording shapes answers)